Prior to me going to hospital in December 2016, I felt like I was starting to work things out on a mental, emotional and even spiritual level, and while I was in hospital that continued. I started to forgive people like my Mum and my Dad and other people as well. Before this episode of mental illness I was really, really angry and I used to blame every one else for everything ALL THE TIME. Since I have come through it and received some really good help, lots of my anger has gone. I also used to get really, really stuck on one topic and not be able to let it go- that seems to be much better also. But all that has taken time, and some really good help.
Apparently all the time I was sick lots of people have been praying for me and sending me good vibes- if you are one of those people ….THANKS! Maybe that is why I am better now.
When I first got out of hospital I walked really, really slowly. I wasn’t allowed to drive- the psychiatrist said I had to get more used to the drug, so Mum took me anywhere I needed to go. I slept for about 14 hours a day or more. I was really big, slow, inflexible and unfit. Mum took me up to the pool a bit and I would take my dog for a short walk. I was suffering pretty badly from the side effects of the drug- restless legs at nighttime, having to move all the time in the day and having to get up all the time at night. My eyesight also got really blurry.
Mum now says she didn’t know how on earth I was going to get out of that state, but back then she kept saying “You will get better, I don’t know how, but I know you will.” When I complained about my body, she said “Don’t worry about your body, just make your mind stronger”.
Mum gave me lots of supplements- Omega 3 oils, Vitamin D, vitamin E, Rosehip capsules, Vitamin B. At nighttime I had Reishi Mushroom capsules, magnesium and a herbal mix of Kava, Withania and Passionflower. All that helped me to get a good night’s sleep and not wake up so often. After about 4-6 weeks, I stopped having the Kava and instead had Albizia into the night time herbal mix.
Two days after I got out of hospital I had an appointment with my homeopath who put me on to Silica 30c. twice per day (This probably wouldn’t work for many people as homeopathics are chosen more for the person than the disease)
At my first follow up with my psychiatrist he took me off the morning dose of haloperidol and at the second appointment he took me off the nighttime dose. I still had the drug in my arm- called a “depot”. The second depot was put into my arm about a month after I left hospital. I got really prolonged PMS so, in March the psychiatrist decided not to put it back in and instead gave me a very low dose of oral medication.
By March I started to slowly return to various activities- some fitness, dancing and some yoga classes. Now I am back to Art Classes as well. What is important is for me to focus my attention outside my mind- whether that be focusing on my body and trying to make it move better with dancing, yoga or fitness; or art which makes me focus on what I am doing. I also started to see a kinesiologist.
Kinesiologists attempt to get to the bottom of your problems. I have been to them before- some have really helped me others not so much, but the one I am seeing now is really helping me. He is also a naturopath so he also prescribes herbs and supplements, which is very helpful. I find it quite hard to express my feelings through talking, so for me kinesiology is perfect
At the first appointment he said I was really super stressed. I don’t think I looked stressed and I didn’t really feel stressed because I was still pretty doped out but through muscle testing the kinesiologist can pick up what is really going on. Some of the stresses that he has picked up in me seem to have been there since before I was born- so I don’t know what it is to live without them.
As well as taking a lot of stress off my system he has also given me lots of good advice such as the importance for me of taking Activated vitamin B’s as he thinks I may have a genetic problem which means I find it difficult to convert some B vitamins into a form that the body can use. He has also upped my magnesium to 400 mg per day, put me on lots of liver herbs and also L-theanine.
I also had some blood tests from the GP which showed low thyroid function. Apparently when I was admitted to hospital in December my thyroid was quite fast, by March it was quite slow- quite a big change. I went on to SFM- a natural supplement for thyroid function, but now I have come off it thanks to the muscle testing showing that my body no longer needed it. I am also trying to go on a diet to lower testosterone levels.
The sessions have also helped the relationship between my Mum and me.
I am feeling heaps better and people say I am also looking better. My anger and frustration has gone down a lot. I hardly hear voices and when I do it’s just like blah blah in my head and I know it will pass very quickly. I am not fully better and even when I don’t have “mental illness” I still have a really really bad reading, writing and communication problem (hence I need someone else to express my feelings in this blog). My other problems are a mixed bag and apparently the mental health people said I was pretty impossible to diagnose. But maybe those things will also improve a bit. Also I am very heavy, hopefully I will lose the weight.